


if i let go of your hand (you'll fly away)

by forbiddenquill



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Idols, Internalized Homophobia, JACKSON WANG IS TZUYU'S MANAGER idk i love using jackson in fics, Well it starts fluffy, i didnt make it too extreme, parents arent too accepting, people are outed against their will, remember: there is a backlash so pls be warned ok take care of urself i know im rambling but oh well, slight homophobia, tzuyu is in love with nayeon who LIKES HER BACK??? omg?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:09:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27021793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forbiddenquill/pseuds/forbiddenquill
Summary: It happens on a mundane Monday morning.Tzuyu’s hands shake when she opens the link sent by her manager and sees the number one spot on Naver’s trending list:“BREAKING: 6MIX’S IM NAYEON AND JYPE’S CHOU TZUYU -- REPORTEDLY DATING”-(or, alternatively, everything falls apart when Nayeon and Tzuyu aren’t careful.)
Relationships: Chou Tzuyu/Im Nayeon, Kim Dahyun/Son Chaeyoung
Comments: 15
Kudos: 390





	if i let go of your hand (you'll fly away)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I'm back to writing for TWICE and focusing on my commissions! 
> 
> This was commissioned by someone on Twitter hahaha. Basically, they asked for idols Nayeon and Tzuyu who get outed by the media. Thank you so much for commissioning this and I'm so sorry for the long wait! 
> 
> Please be aware of the tags that I've added. 
> 
> This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
> 
> Title is from BTS' Butterfly. 
> 
> Enjoy!

-

Im Nayeon comes into her life like a tornado. 

Things will never be the same again. 

-

**MNET K-POP**

**CHOU TZUYU - 21:29**

**COMEBACK STAGE**

**M COUNTDOWN**

**180423 EP. 514**

“Hey, aren’t you Chou Tzuyu?” 

A bunny smile. That’s the first thing Tzuyu notices from the woman standing before her. Then her eyes adjust to the bright lights of the studio and Im Nayeon comes into view. She’s prettier than all the pictures and music videos that Tzuyu has watched of her. She is easily recognizable but the screen doesn’t do her justice. Tzuyu’s breath catches in her throat. _Beautiful_ , is the first word she thinks of. 

And then Nayeon’s bunny smile widens. She looks absolutely delighted. _Cute_ , is the second word Tzuyu thinks of. 

“I’m a _huge_ fan,” Nayeon tells her, clasping her hands together, “Can I have an autograph?” 

Tzuyu’s mouth opens and closes. Finally, she manages to say, “Uhm, I don’t have a pen.” 

Nayeon laughs. It’s loud, a bit obnoxious, but Tzuyu’s heart quickens all the same. “Same here. Can I take a picture then?” the older girl asks. 

Tzuyu hurries to pull her phone out of her pocket, the words “ _of course, unnie_ ” falling out of her lips already, but then Nayeon’s hand curls around her wrist. 

“We’ll use mine,” Nayeon says. Again, that bunny smile. 

Tzuyu thinks there is a mistake here. Nayeon is one of the most popular idols in South Korea. She is the lead singer and lead dancer of idol group 6MIX, which consists of her fellow members Yoo Jeongyeon, Hirai Momo, Minatozaki Sana, Park Jihyo, and Myoui Mina. Out of everybody in the studio right now, why would Im Nayeon approach _her_? 

It’s not to say that Tzuyu isn’t famous herself but if fame had tiers, then Im Nayeon would be at the top level and she would be slowly climbing past the bottom ones. Tzuyu is a solo artist who has just started out in the industry but has gained traction with her debut song, SIXTEEN. 6MIX has been active for nearly two years now and Tzuyu’s debut happened only three months ago. She’s in the middle of her first comeback and 6MIX has just finished with their third one. 

When Nayeon leans in her personal space and snaps a picture of them from her camera, Tzuyu can’t help but wonder what it is about her that has caught Im Nayeon’s eye. 

“Thanks,” Nayeon says, shooting her a broad grin, “I liked your song, by the way.” 

_Ah_. There it is. Tzuyu knows that her cheeks are probably flushed from the compliment. “Thank you,” she replies, bowing so deeply and abruptly that she nearly hits Nayeon’s face.

Nayeon laughs again. It’s genuine. Others would’ve laughed awkwardly. Not everybody knows how to handle Tzuyu’s soft and skittish nature. She’s only been away from Taiwan for about three years. Her Korean can still use a little work.

“You’re cute,” Nayeon says, still grinning, “We should definitely hang out sometime.” 

Again, Tzuyu finds herself at a loss for words. Or maybe they’re just stuck in her throat. “Sure.”

Thankfully, her manager, an older man with the name Jackson Wang, who looks as if he can be an idol as well, arrives in time to save her from saying something embarrassing or stupid. “Tzuyu-ssi,” he calls, “you’re up soon.” 

“See you around, Tzuyu-ssi,” Nayeon tells her, waving at her before she disappears into the crowd of managers, staff members and other idol groups. 

Later that evening, after Tzuyu’s first comeback loses by a hundred points to a boy group whose name she can’t even remember, Im Nayeon tags her in an Instagram post and it’s somehow better than winning a music show award.

**imnayeon:** finally met THE chou tzuyu earlier!!! so cute <3 

[April 23, 2018]

Under the caption, other idols have commented: 

**yerimese:** wow she's taller than u ㅋㅋㅋ

 **yoo_jeongyeon96:** where was i when this was taken im a fan too???? ㅠㅠㅠ

 **sanapomu:** kawaii!!!! ≧ω≦ 

It is arguably Tzuyu’s most famous picture on the internet as of that moment. Thousands of interactions from fans—from both Nayeon and Tzuyu’s stans—blow her phone up. Tzuyu mutes them all and shares the picture to her Insta story. She adds a purple heart for good measure. Meanwhile, her own heart feels warm and full. It’s nice to be noticed, especially in a ruthless industry where everybody is constantly competing for people’s attention. But she thinks the attention is a bit more special, especially coming from Im Nayeon herself. 

-

The life of a solo artist is harder than Tzuyu expects. Other than her fully packed schedules, she doesn't do much. She works out, attends her Korean classes, and practices every single day. It's hard to make friends, especially when Tzuyu's old friends are still in Taiwan and she's—well, not in Taiwan. Any promising friends she can make here in Korea have their own fair share of responsibilities and duties. Idols her own age have their own schedules, work-outs, and dance practices to deal with. 

That's why it comes as a surprise when she finds none other than Im Nayeon in a small coffee shop during one of her day-offs. The shop is tiny in comparison to Gong Cha or even Starbucks but her manager recommended it. And after watching the entire series of _It’s Okay To Not Be Okay_ in one sitting, she decides to head to _Jamgoddae_ wearing one of her numerous, lesser known hats and a face mask to hide her identity. Apparently, it doesn’t work because the second she steps in and finds a seat next to the window, she hears a familiar and excitable voice whispering for her from the next table:

“ _Tzuyu-ssi!_ ” 

Rule number one when you’re an aspiring idol: never turn around when somebody calls your name, especially when you’re in public. But Tzuyu hasn’t been an idol for that long now. She turns, looking around with her eyebrows raised. Her gaze lands on Im Nayeon and _wait—_ is that—? 

“Fancy seeing you here,” Nayeon says, grinning broadly. She gestures to the person sitting across her. “Have you met Mina?” 

Tzuyu’s mouth goes dry again. “Hi,” she manages to greet, bowing deeply despite being seated, “My name is Chou Tzuyu.”

Myoui Mina, another member of 6MIX, waves at her. “Hi,” she echoes the greeting. 

“You should join us!” Nayeon suggests. 

“Oh, I don’t want to impose—” 

But Nayeon is already standing up and grabbing her by the wrist. Something in Tzuyu’s brain short-circuits as she lets herself get dragged away from her own self-isolation. Mina giggles, apparently finding the entire scene amusing, and if Tzuyu isn’t so busy trying to calm her rapidly beating heart, she might find it funny as well. 

“Nayeon-unnie always gets her way,” Mina explains patiently; “You should get used to it.” 

Tzuyu smiles politely as she is seated in Nayeon’s previous chair. “I guess I have to, sooner than later.” 

Nayeon grabs another chair from the nearest table and plops down in between them. She points at Tzuyu’s phone, which she has clasped in her hand. “Oh, I never got your number, by the way,” she says. 

“You want my number?” 

“I told you we should hang out sometime, right?” Nayeon says it so casually and flippantly, as if they aren’t idols who are restricted by their schedules; it both surprises and awes Tzuyu. 

Mina’s eyes are twinkling as she looks at Tzuyu. _Told you_ , her gaze seems to say. 

“Okay,” Tzuyu replies haltingly as Nayeon offers her own phone first. Half a beat passes. Tzuyu surrenders her phone next. 

Nayeon’s phone case is purple with a cute Shiba Inu face as a griptok. Tzuyu can’t help but smile as she types in her number and passes it back to the older girl. She finds it endearing for some reason. _I like dogs too_ , she wants to say but she can't as the words are clogged in her throat. 

When her phone is returned to her, she realizes that Nayeon has already typed in her own name along with her number. **NAYEONNIE** **🐰** has been written as a recent contact. Tzuyu’s thumb hovers over the screen, surprise filling her bones. Im Nayeon keeps surprising her. And as she hides her smile under her hair and tucks her phone into her bag, Tzuyu comes to the conclusion that she really doesn’t mind.

-

After spending an afternoon with Im Nayeon and Myoui Mina, Tzuyu heads back home, takes a shower and is about to slip under the covers of her bed when she receives a text message: 

**[AUGUST 12, 2018]**

**NAYEONNIE** **🐰** (11:09 PM) 

hey :) 

**CHOU TZUYU** **🐶** (11:11 PM)

Hi! 

**NAYEONNIE** **🐰** (11:12 PM) 

i had a really good time earlier so thank you for that :DD

 **CHOU TZUYU** **🐶** (11:16 PM)

~~Ah… don’t worry about it~~

~~I’m sorry if I was too awkward sometimes~~

No prob! I enjoyed our time together too :)

 **NAYEONNIE** **🐰** (11:18 PM)

great! i'll make sure to invite u if i ever plan to drink back at that coffee shop ㅋㅋㅋ

 **CHOU TZUYU** **🐶** (11:22 PM)

 ~~Omg you dont have to~~ ~~ㅠㅠㅠ~~

~~Ahhhhh unnie you're so cool~~

~~Im literally a nobody pls~~ ~~ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ~~

That sounds nice :D

 **NAYEONNIE** **🐰** (11:23 PM)

cute 💜

Tzuyu realizes she's biting her lower lip. Once the realization sets in, she covers her face with one hand and feels her cheeks burning. Her mouth curves into a grin. She can't cover the squeal that slips past her lips. 

This is a perfectly normal reaction to Im Nayeon calling her cute. Literally anybody else in the world would react the same way. Or that's what Tzuyu tries to tell herself anyway. 

-

**IDOL ROOM**

**CHOU TZUYU**

**190212 EP. 654**

"Tzuyu-ssi, I have a question," the host—a large man with sunglasses perched on top of his head—begins conversationally. He turns to her and Tzuyu unconsciously straightens her back. Manners, after all. 

"Yes?" she asks. 

"Being a solo artist must get pretty lonely sometimes," the host goes on, "I've spoken with a few of them. Chungha, for example. They always say that it's a bit harder when there's nobody to lean on during the hard times. How do you cope with that?"

Tzuyu stares into the blinking red light at one of the cameras directed to her face and tries to come up with the right words to answer the question. “It does get lonely,” she admits, “especially when there are many idol groups out there but I always rely on my manager and my team to keep me company.” It’s a textbook response to a textbook question. Tzuyu feels proud of herself though. 

The host nods. “But you’ve also made some friends with other idols, correct?” Before Tzuyu can respond, he looks at an invisible audience. “Everybody knows Im Nayeon, yes? Member of 6MIX?" 

Tzuyu’s fingers twitch on her lap. “Ah, Nayeon-unnie,” she says with a polite smile. For some reason, she doesn’t want to talk about Nayeon in front of an audience, even though everybody clearly knows they’re friends already. Their first photo together did break the internet. 

The host brings up said photo. “That was nearly a year ago,” he states, “Have you guys met up recently?” 

The incident at the coffee shop happened two months ago. Tzuyu can’t really consider it a recent event. So, she says, “Not really.” It still feels like a lie, though. For some reason, she feels as if her skin is stretched too thin ever since Im Nayeon was brought into the conversation.

“Would you consider yourselves good friends?” 

Tzuyu thinks about it. "We just met," she says, "so I don't think I can call her a _good_ friend yet. But I think she's an amazing and talented performer. I watch her fancams. She's a good _sunbaenim._ "

“It's a shame that you girls can't hang out every now and then,” the host says, laughing good-naturedly, “but it’s expected. Idols have such a rigorous schedule. Why don’t you tell me more about that, Tzuyu-ssi?” He seems nice enough, taking control of the conversation because Tzuyu is too awkward, too cautious and too foreign to converse with. And yet, Tzuyu’s hands remain tightly clenched on top of her lap. 

She never fully relaxes for the rest of the interview. 

-

**[FEBRUARY 21, 2019]**

**NAYEONNIE** **🐰** (2:56 AM)

i think we're good friends! 

**CHOU TZUYU** **🐶** (5:02 AM)

Hi sorry I was sleeping

 **CHOU TZUYU** **🐶** (5:03 AM)

What are u talking about?

 **NAYEONNIE** **🐰** (6:15 AM)

what u said at idol room! i managed to watch ur interview. i consider us good friends D: 

**CHOU TZUYU** **🐶** (6:36 AM)

Oh

 **CHOU TZUYU** **🐶** (6:42 AM)

~~Thank you thank you thank you~~

~~You are too nice unnie~~

Do u wanna hang out soon? Just the two of us?

 **NAYEONNIE** **🐰** (6:43 AM)

omg is chou tzuyu asking me out on a date

 **CHOU TZUYU** **🐶** (6:45 AM)

Unnie omg pls ㅠㅠ

 **NAYEONNIE** **🐰** (6:47 AM)

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

 **NAYEONNIE** **🐰** (6:49 AM)

im only joking

 **NAYEONNIE** **🐰** (6:49 AM)

but ofc i’ll hang out with u :)

-

It’s raining today. 

Tzuyu arrives five minutes after her designated meet-up time with Im Nayeon at _Jamggodae_. Jackson is following closely behind, out of breath from having jogged next to the idol to make up for being late. Tzuyu shakes her umbrella dry, takes off her coat, slings it over her arm and enters the small coffee shop. She is greeted by the warm—almost overwhelming scent of coffee lingering in the air. It’s easy to spot Nayeon at the very back of the shop, almost covered head to toe in clothing that won’t reveal her identity to the crowds of students enjoying their cover from the downpour outside. 

At the sight of her friend playing on her phone, Tzuyu asks Jackson to order some food for them before she carefully tucks her hair behind her ears and heads to the table. Thankfully, the college students are too busy complaining about the rain or sticking their noses in their books to pay her any mind. Or maybe they just don’t know Chou Tzuyu as much as they know Im Nayeon. 

“I’m sorry for being late,” she is quick to say, bowing deeply in front of her sunbaenim. 

Nayeon looks up, a smile already playing on her lips. “It’s okay, Tzuyu-ssi,” she says, gesturing to the chair across her, “I don’t mind.” 

The two of them spend the day just talking. Jackson is seated two tables away with Nayeon’s own manager, keeping an eye out and drinking their own cups of coffee. Nayeon already ordered a hazelnut latte for herself when she arrived and Tzuyu’s iced vanilla latte remains untouched for most of the time. She is too engrossed in the person sitting in front of her, disregarding all talks about work and instead opening up about other mundane things. Like what kind of coffee she likes, the book she’s reading, the cute Pomeranian dog she got from the dog shelter named Kookeu. Tzuyu realizes, about two hours in, that her drink is now warm and Im Nayeon is quite possibly the nicest person she’s ever met in her entire life. 

-

Nayeon uploads another picture of the two of them on her Instagram. 

**imnayeon:** good friends :)

[March 2, 2019]

Once again, it breaks the internet. 

-

Tzuyu is swept up in another comeback, which means less time watching Korean dramas and more time grinding at JYPE. She is given a song to work with and about two months to practice the choreography with her back-up dancers and work on the music video. She's exhausted most of the time but it's worth it. After all, this is for her fans. She wants the best for them. 

One day, after spending the entire day at the company, Tzuyu finds an interesting article on Naver with her name on it. 

**"TOP 10 IDOL FRIENDSHIPS YOU WISH YOU HAD! Ft. Red Velvet’s Irene, BLACKPINK’S Jennie, 6MIX’S Nayeon, JYPE’S Chou Tzuyu, and many more!”**

At the number fourth spot is her and Nayeon. It shows a picture of them at the coffee shop—Nayeon grinning broadly at the camera, her bunny smile reminiscent to the very first time Tzuyu saw her in person. It’s funny. Tzuyu has always been praised for her looks, especially after breaking Korean standards of beauty but staring at the picture Nayeon uploaded of them for the world to see, Tzuyu can’t help but feel like they’ve got it all wrong. Even on screen, Nayeon’s beauty captivates and in person, Tzuyu can’t take her eyes off her. 

She reads the rest of the article, something rising in her throat. She can’t tell what it is. More words to stumble through? Another textbook answer to a textbook question? Or maybe… something important? 

“ _Everybody knows Im Nayeon_ — _lead singer for popular female idol group 6MIX, who have released headbangers such as LOVE LINE, 24/7, and LOVE FOOLISH. While 6MIX is a tightly knit group that has been active for nearly three years now, Nayeon isn’t too shy to reach out to other people outside her inner circle. One of these people is JYPE’s gorgeous solo artist Chou Tzuyu. Their friendship began a few months into Tzuyu’s solo career and we are all here for it! As stated by Nayeon in an Instagram caption last March 2, 2019, she and Tzuyu are ‘good friends!’_

\- 

When the company tells her that she has to pick out a sport to practice in for ISAC 2019, Tzuyu picks archery, simply because Nayeon once commented that Tzuyu looks like a character from _Lord of The Rings_ —the one with the long hair and the impossibly good looks. Tzuyu doesn’t really understand why she remembers that particular comment but she picks archery anyway. And when she informs Nayeon of her choice over a cup of coffee and some mooncakes during Chuseok, Nayeon laughs loudly, as if it’s the funniest thing she’s ever heard of. “You’ll do great!” she tells Tzuyu, her smile wide and happy, “I know you can!” 

ISAC 2019 arrives sooner than Tzuyu expects. Since she doesn’t have a group to begin with, she’s teamed up with popular rap duo DUBCHAENG—Kim Dahyun and Son Chaeyoung. Tzuyu’s heard of them before. Apparently, they’re making waves in the industry for being the whole package. Dahyun can play many instruments and Chaeyoung’s eye for the arts gives their duo an unique, indie vibe. Not to mention, their soft, honey sweet vocals are just as good as their rapping skills. 

From the get-go, Chaeyoung tells Tzuyu that she should be the ace of their team. “We haven’t practiced much,” she explains with a shrug, “and we’re not really in it to win.” 

“Then why did you pick archery then,” Tzuyu asks, a deadpan expression on her face. 

Chaeyoung’s answer is swift, “The company picked it out for us.” 

Dahyun, who had been watching the back and forth with a polite smile, steps in. “It’s okay, Tzuyu-ssi,” she says, pumping a fist in the air, “We’ll still try our best!” 

During the archery competition itself, Dahyun scores the least out of them. She is sheepish, trying to play it off coolly, but Tzuyu can see that she’s slightly disappointed at the outcome. On the other hand, Chaeyoung sticks her tongue out as she stretches her drawstring, eyes wide open as she levels her shot. She lets go and hits a 7, 7, 8, respectively. As she walks off to high-five both Dahyun and Tzuyu, she seems pleased with herself. 

Then it’s Tzuyu’s turn. Her ears are ringing. She can see her face plastered all over the screens. She can also hear her opponents—an idol group that she can’t remember the name to—talking about how pretty she looks, just standing there with her hair tied in a low ponytail and her face angled towards the bullseye but they seem distant, like she’s hearing them from the other end of the tunnel. Tzuyu searches the crowd, looking past the fanboys screaming her name and waving banners, and finds the familiar set of lips curved into the bunny smile that gets her heart racing and her palms sweating. 

The bell rings, signalling her to start. 

Tzuyu takes a deep breath, draws her bow, and hits the bullseye. 

-

Nayeon jumps down from the bleachers to engulf Tzuyu in a hug after they win their part of the competition. The sudden burst of affection completely catches Tzuyu off guard and she almost stumbles when she realizes that she’s being hugged. But once she catches a whiff of Nayeon’s favorite grapefruit perfume and turns to see Nayeon’s dark hair tied in twin buns, she relaxes considerably. She raises a hand and hesitantly places it on the small of Nayeon’s back. “Hi, unnie,” she greets. 

“Tzuyu-yah,” Nayeon says, pulling back with the biggest bunny smile on her face, “I told you that you could do it!” 

“It doesn’t mean anything,” Tzuyu replies, suddenly hyper-aware of the cameras that are trained on them—both official and unofficial. The hand on Nayeon’s back drops at once, almost as if it’s been burned. “It’s just ISAC,” she later adds. 

Nayeon doesn’t seem to mind. “Maybe,” she says, “but you still scored three bullseyes. That’s like, never been done before!” 

“Yeah,” Tzuyu mumbles, looking up to see the cameras turning away from them, “I guess so.” 

-

**[SEPTEMBER 15, 2019]**

**NAYEONNIE** **🐰** (9:49 PM)

look!

[ _NAYEONNIE_ _🐰_ _sent a picture_ ]

 **CHOU TZUYU** **🐶** (9:51 PM)

Cute :D

It’s a picture of Nayeon hugging Tzuyu back at ISAC 2019. Unknown to Nayeon, Tzuyu saves the picture and sets it as her lockscreen. She makes sure to not let Jackson see it afterwards. 

-

There’s something stuck inside Tzuyu’s throat. 

“Tzuyu-yah,” Nayeon begins, frowning at her when they meet up at the coffee shop during one of their off days again, “are you okay? You don’t look so good.” 

A hand on her forehead, moving down the side of her face to press against her sternum. Tzuyu’s eyes snap forward, viciously torn away from her reverie. Nayeon is sitting in front of her, covered from head to toe again. This time, Tzuyu is doing the same thing. They can never be too careful. The last time they were spotted in public, their time together had been cut short to accommodate fans who wanted to take pictures. And even though Nayeon is wearing a purple beanie and half of her face is covered with a black face mask, Tzuyu can’t help but think of how beautiful she still is, despite the obstruction. 

“Oh,” Tzuyu mumbles, feeling suddenly very hot, “what were you saying?” 

Nayeon points at her face with narrowed eyes. “You look like you have a fever,” she says. 

“I don’t.” 

“Tzuyu-yah.” Nayeon pouts. “Don’t work yourself too hard. A lot of people care about you, you know? It’s bad if you get sick.” 

Tzuyu feels that something in her throat again. She can’t tell what it is but it feels important. She raises a hand and rubs at her neck. Words… She isn’t good with words. She wishes she is. Maybe then, she’ll be able to tell Nayeon just how grateful she is for their friendship, even though it can get so difficult sometimes. 

“Are you worried about performing at MAMA?” Nayeon asks, pulling her hand back and taking control of the conversation once more. She always does it for Tzuyu’s sake. 

“Yeah,” Tzuyu answers, grateful for the change of topic. She reaches down and takes a sip of her now lukewarm drink. This always happens when she’s with Nayeon. Time seems to pass on by quickly when they’re together. Sometimes, she can’t even believe she’s been friends with one of the most popular idols in the industry for longer than a few months. 

“Don’t be,” Nayeon goes on, “It only gets worse if you think too hard about it.” She pauses, contemplating. “When I first performed on stage for our debut song, I nearly threw up beforehand. Jeongyeon and Jihyo had to calm me down.” 

Tzuyu stares. It’s the first time Nayeon has brought up work. They never talk about work when they’re together. At first, she thought it was odd but didn’t ask. “How did they calm you down?” 

Nayeon shrugs. “Mistakes are what makes us human,” she answers, looking down at her drink, “In this industry, our fans often forget that we’re just human too. My members reminded me that I’m not perfect so I shouldn’t force myself to be.” Then she smiles, even though it doesn’t reach her eyes. “I’m sorry, I know we don’t talk about work a lot.” 

Tzuyu feels as if her heartstrings have been tugged. “Unnie,” she says but no words follow. She doesn’t know what to say. Instead, she reaches out and lays a hand on top of Nayeon’s. 

The older girl turns her palm up to intertwine their fingers together. “It’s okay, Tzuyu-yah,” she says, “This is the world we work in.”

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Of course.” 

Tzuyu purses her lips. “How come you don’t talk about work with me?”

Nayeon’s eyes flash with an emotion Tzuyu can’t discern. “Do you want me to?” she fires back. 

“No, no, it’s fine.” Tzuyu looks down at their hands. “It’s just… it’s kind of hard not to talk about work when it’s all we ever do.”

“Exactly.” Nayeon lets out a sigh. “Don’t get me wrong. I love what we do. It’s fulfilling. Seeing the fans faces… screaming our names… waving the banners… it’s something that I’ve always wanted. But sometimes, I want to get away too, you know? It gets… suffocating.” Then she fixes Tzuyu with an unreadable expression. “That’s why I go to you.” 

“Me?” 

Nayeon nods. Her grip on Tzuyu’s hand tightens slightly. “You remind me a lot of myself when I was just starting out,” she goes on, “and I want to give you what I didn’t have. A chance to be normal.” She smiles, bunny teeth peeking out from behind her lips. “And if hanging out at coffee shops and texting each other spoilers for the dramas we watch is the closest thing we can have to normal, then I don’t mind.” 

Tzuyu stares. There are no words. No words at all to how grateful and thankful she is for Im Nayeon. Here is somebody who she looked up to from afar. Here is somebody who made the first move. Here is somebody who is _so_ nice and genuine and beautiful and who wants Tzuyu to have a normal friend—one who doesn’t talk about the life they’ve chosen, one who can make her laugh with a few dog videos, one who can sit in a coffee shop amidst the busy schedules they have and make time pass by a lot faster than if she was sitting back home and mindlessly scrolling through her phone. 

When words fail, Tzuyu relies on actions. So she leans over the table and wraps Nayeon in a bone-crushing hug. Their drinks on the table nearly spill over but they don’t, which is good, because their handbags are expensive and Nayeon would whine all day if the one she bought from Europe gets a stain on it. Tzuyu doesn’t let go for a very long time and Nayeon doesn’t too, the weight of her hand on Tzuyu’s shoulder a comforting presence. 

“Tzuyu-yah,” Nayeon says after a while, laughing. 

“Sorry,” Tzuyu mumbles, pulling away and returning to her seat, “I got carried away.” 

“No, it’s okay.” Nayeon’s eyes are bright as she looks at Tzuyu. “I really don’t mind.”

-

“ _If you could pick one member to bring to a deserted island, who would it be?_ ” Yoo Jeongyeon reads from one of the cue cards she draws from the box. 

“ _MITANG!_ ” Both Hirai Momo and Minatozaki Sana yell at the same time. 

Nayeon laughs loudly at the alarm written all over Mina’s face. “ _That’s what you get for being so smart_ ,” she teases good naturedly. 

Tzuyu is watching the interview titled **ASK IN A BOX WITH 6MIX** from her couch in her dorm room. It's late. She arrived from the gym nearly two hours ago. Chinese take-out was on the dining room table when she arrived, which must've been left behind by the dorm chef. Her manager had told her of tomorrow’s schedule before leaving with a firm reminder to get some sleep. Now, Tzuyu uses her chopsticks to pop dumplings into her mouth, well past midnight, as she watches 6MIX’s interview. 

Park Jihyo—main vocalist, leader of the group—hums in contemplation. “ _I’d pick Mina too_ ,” she says, “ _I think we would survive on a deserted island together._ ”

“ _Eh?_ ” Mina says, giggling, “ _You think too highly of me_.” 

Nayeon waves them off. “ _You guys are thinking too much,” she whines, “It’s not about_ survival _—it’s about having fun!_ ”

Silence. 

Jeongyeon’s hand shoots to the sky. “ _Raise your hand if you think Nayeon is going to starve first!_ ” 

“ _Hey!_ ”

Everybody raises their hands and Nayeon scoffs, offended. The camera pans to Momo who narrows her eyes with a grin on her face. “ _What about you, unnie?_ ” she asks, “ _Who would_ you _take?_ ” 

“ _None of you_ ,” Nayeon replies, “ _You’ve insulted me for far too long!_ ”

Tzuyu laughs. 6MIX have good chemistry with each other. They’re like a real family who make fun of each other but also still have each other’s backs. She doesn’t know why the thought makes her heart ache. 

“ _Besides_ ,” Nayeon goes on, glancing at the camera, “ _I’d rather bring Tzuyu to a deserted island than any of you._ ”

The statement is met by several squeals. Nayeon is blushing. That much is certain, even on camera. It takes Tzuyu awhile to realize that she is also blushing. 

“ _Our fans have always been curious_ ,” Sana continues, “ _They want to know more about our cute little donsaeng._ ”

“ _Tzuyu is the opposite of little_ ,” Jeongyeon points out.

Nayeon seems to be thinking very seriously, her eyebrows drawing together in the middle. “ _Well_ ,” she begins, “ _I think we get along really well. It might not be obvious but Tzuyu is very funny. She makes me laugh_.” 

“ _The same way Nayeon-unnie makes us laugh?”_ Mina asks. 

Nayeon nods, sending a wink to her members. “ _You guys love me, right_?” she teases. 

“ _Next question, please_ ,” Jihyo says and the rest laughs. 

Just like that, the interview ends with 6MIX promoting their next comeback: SHOT THRU THE HEART. Nayeon is the last person to leave the screen. She sends two finger hearts straight at the camera, winking as she does so. Tzuyu can’t explain the sudden rush of heat that travels from her face and down the rest of her body. In response, she shuts off the TV and continues to eat in silence. But her mind—like the traitor that it is—can’t let go of the fondness in Nayeon’s voice when she said, “ _She makes me laugh_.” 

-

**[NOVEMBER 25, 2019]**

**CHOU TZUYU** **🐶** (12:09 AM)

Unnie?

 **NAYEONNIE** **🐰** (12:10 AM)

yes~

 **CHOU TZUYU** **🐶** (12:11 AM)

Do u wanna go somewhere with me

 **NAYEONNIE** **🐰** (12:15 AM)

ohhhhhh where???? when????

 **CHOU TZUYU** **🐶** (12:18 AM)

Amsterdam

 **CHOU TZUYU** **🐶** (12:20 AM)

~~You dont have to go if u dont want to~~

My family and i are taking a short vacation

 **CHOU TZUYU** **🐶** (12:21 AM)

~~Omg this is so stupid~~

~~Forget i said anything ok~~

I figured that since u guys are done with ur comeback…

 **CHOU TZUYU** **🐶** (12:23 AM)

Maybe u can come with?

 **CHOU TZUYU** **🐶** (12:30 AM)

Unnie?

 **NAYEONNIE** **🐰** (12:32 AM)

ofc tzuyu!!! ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

 **NAYEONNIE** **🐰** (12:33 AM)

i’ll go anywhere you go :)

-

Tzuyu’s been trying to name this thing that’s been stuck in her throat ever since she met Nayeon. It’s not nerves. It’s not anxiety. It’s not anything she has experienced before. All she knows is that it only happens when Nayeon is close by. And now, sitting next to Nayeon inside a plane with the rest of her family, Tzuyu wonders if she’ll ever be able to breathe for the rest of the journey, especially when the lump in her throat seems to grow as the seconds pass. 

\- 

“What do you mean you don’t know how to ride a bike,” Tzuyu deadpans as they finish paying for their bikes. 

It’s the second day of their Amsterdam trip. Tzuyu’s parents are inside, enjoying the breakfast buffet provided by the seaside hotel they’re staying at. After taking a walk outside and seeing bikes for rent by the side of the building, Tzuyu asked Nayeon if she wanted to go biking together. 

Nayeon stomps her boots, glaring at her. “I don’t know how to ride a bike,” she repeats. 

“How can you _not_ know how to ride a bike,” Tzuyu asks again in the same deadpan expression she wore earlier. 

"I was too busy dreaming of singing on stage with millions of people screaming my name" At Tzuyu's unimpressed stare, Nayeon sighs dramatically. "Okay, fine. There was nobody to teach me." 

Tzuyu raises an eyebrow. “What about your dad?”

“He was always busy with work.” Nayeon must not realize that she sounds like a petulant child because Tzuyu bursts out laughing. The older girl stops, giving her a suspicious look. “What?”

“Sorry,” Tzuyu apologizes, “It’s just—sometimes, you remind me of me as well.” 

Nayeon cracks a smile. “How?” 

Tzuyu squeezes the handles of the bike, almost unconsciously. “Sometimes, you’re afraid to ask for help too, even though you need it,” she says, not looking away from Nayeon’s expectant gaze. Then her smile widens. “Come on, let me teach you. Glad I can be of some use now.” 

“What do you mean?” Nayeon asks sharply, turning towards her with a frown on her face. 

Tzuyu shrugs, not thinking too much about it. “Well, you’re the one who’s always helping me." She gestures for Nayeon to ride the bike, watching her feet carefully. "I've always wanted to return the favor." 

"Well, that's what friends do, right?" Nayeon says, her frown deepening, "And you don't have to 'return the favor,' Tzuyu-yah. Being your friend is its own reward." 

"You're so cheeky," Tzuyu mumbles, feeling her cheeks burn and her throat tighten. This is normal. Hearing one of South Korea's top idol saying mushy stuff to her face is enough reason for her body to react this way. It's almost instinctual—both familiar and warm. Anybody else would react this way.

Nayeon sticks her tongue at her. "You love it," she says before she looks down at the bike and inquires on what to do next. Her hands go over the handles, squeezing experimentally. Tzuyu covers them with her own. 

"Just don't be scared," she says. Their close proximity is making her dizzy but she thinks that it's because of how warm Amsterdam is, which is a blatant lie, she knows deep down. Amsterdam is as cold as the North Pole in November. Then suddenly, Nayeon looks at her. They're so close that their noses almost brush. 

"I'm not," Nayeon says, ever so softly, and the _something_ in Tzuyu's throat returns. 

"Okay." Tzuyu takes a deep breath, almost as if she's the one riding a bike for the first time. Then she nods at Nayeon's feet. "Just start pedaling so that you can have a general feel of the bike. I won't let go until you tell me to." 

Nayeon exhales. "Promise?" 

Tzuyu nods seriously. "I promise."

-

The realization comes slowly, like watching fireworks flare up the night sky. Tzuyu can trace the start of its path with her eyes, understanding that at the end of it, something will happen. Something beautiful and wonderful and absolutely breathtaking. Soon, a variety of colors and sparkles will erupt into the sky, setting the world on fire. It's similar to how Tzuyu feels about Nayeon. She can remember why it started, when it changed, how it grew. A bunny smile. A hand on her wrist. Purple hearts in chat messages. Loud laughter in her ears. Warmth in her chest. _She makes me laugh._ The _something_ in her throat that Tzuyu has spent many months trying to name, only for it to come to her _now—_ as Nayeon tells her to let go and Tzuyu suddenly feels a loss she can't explain, can't even begin to comprehend—but she lets go anyway. She watches Nayeon teeter precariously on the bike, letting out a shriek of laughter when she manages to keep balance. Tzuyu's hands fall limp to her sides. It is warm but it is not because of Amsterdam. No, it is because of the _something_ in Tzuyu's throat that she _finally_ has a name to—the _something_ that spreads to her heart down the rest of her body, making her fingers tingle. She doesn't understand why she didn't _get_ it before. Because it is oh so obvious now—it always has been. Perhaps Tzuyu has been blind or maybe her eyes were simply squeezed shut because of fear. One thing is for certain now however—she is in love. And the lump in her throat that she thought was caused by nerves or anxiety or pure awe at being friends with Im Nayeon is actually love. And it has _always_ been love. 

-

Tzuyu doesn't say anything to Nayeon about this newfound revelation. There is no heartfelt confession, no stumbling through her feelings, _nothing._ Just like how she feels about Nayeon, she wants to keep this to herself. The world can go to hell if it wants to dissect every personal detail about Tzuyu's life, the way it always has and the way it always will. Like it is entitled to do so. This is _her_ secret to keep—one she intends to keep locked away down her throat and the deepest chambers of her heart.

Unfortunately, Nayeon sees right through her.

"Tzuyu-yah," Nayeon says when they get back to the hotel and the bottle of wine they were greeted with when they first arrived is still sitting inside the fridge. Tzuyu knows because the fridge is the first place she goes to for a glass of water.

Tzuyu’s eyes slide towards Nayeon. “Yeah?” she asks.

“Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Nayeon’s frown deepens as she shrugs off her coat and deposits it on the rack. “You’re quiet,” she tells her, “ _Too_ quiet.”

“I’m always quiet.” Tzuyu pours herself a glass of champagne instead of water. She thinks she needs it. The _something_ in her throat has returned. Only this time, it’s grown. Harder to ignore. Harder to swallow and pretend that it doesn’t exist. And that’s the thing, really. Tzuyu doesn’t want to pretend that her feelings for Nayeon doesn’t exist. Because it is an honor to be this close to _the_ Im Nayeon and an even greater honor to harbor feelings for her. She knows, in an alternate universe somewhere out there, that another Chou Tzuyu is granted the greatest honor of all— _the_ Im Nayeon returning her feelings.

Nayeon is sizing her up quizzically as she approaches her. “Can I have some?” she asks Tzuyu, who has finished her first glass of champagne in record time and has poured another.

Tzuyu’s throat burns. “Yeah.” She thinks Nayeon is reaching for the bottle. Instead, the older girl’s fingers wrap around her glass and take a sip from the same place Tzuyu’s lips were on seconds earlier.

The sight is jarring.

“You know you don’t have to hide anything from me,” Nayeon points out. She licks her lips and Tzuyu’s gaze follows the slow, tantalizing movement of her tongue.

“I’m not hiding anything,” Tzuyu says meekly.

“Bullshit.” Nayeon doesn’t curse. But she curses now, her eyes narrowed and her lips twisted in a frown. “Something’s bothering you.”

Tzuyu tries to come up with an excuse. “It’s just cold,” she says, “Colder than Korea.”

“Hmm.” Nayeon’s hand comes up and touches Tzuyu’s forehead before sliding down her cheek. “You don’t seem to have a fever.”

“Right.”

“Maybe you should take some medicine?”

“Okay.”

“I’ll draw you a hot bath after I finish showering, is that good?”

Tzuyu nods. “Yeah, that’s perfect.”

Nayeon doesn’t move. She’s still watching Tzuyu, searching for a lie or an answer. Tzuyu stares back. A beat passes. Nayeon’s gaze flickers to her mouth for a split second before she smiles, finishes the rest of her drink, and heads to the bathroom. When the door slams shut behind her and Tzuyu can finally breathe again, she pours the rest of the bottle down the sink.

-

Tzuyu can’t sleep and for some reason, Nayeon can’t as well.

It’s half past midnight. The curtains are drawn. The clock is ticking. There is dread in Tzuyu’s stomach. She can hear Nayeon in the bed next to hers, twisting and turning. Like she’s trying to get comfortable. Meanwhile, Tzuyu stares straight at the ceiling above her, waiting and waiting. She doesn’t really know what she’s waiting for. It could be for sleep to take her or for the sun to finally rise from the east. All she knows is that she’s waiting for _something_.

“Tzuyu?”

At once, Tzuyu sits up. “What?” she asks in a whisper.

“I can’t sleep.” Nayeon sounds like a child and it pulls at Tzuyu’s heartstrings.

“Me either,” she murmurs.

In the darkness, she hears Nayeon shifting. Then there’s the softest of sighs. “You know,” she mumbles, “I always sleep with Mina or Momo next to me.”

Scratch _sounding_ like a child—Im Nayeon _is_ a child. Tzuyu stifles a giggle behind her hand and turns on her side so that she’s facing Nayeon in this darkness. “You might be older than me by two years,” she murmurs, “but you’re such a baby, Nayeon-unnie.”

“Hush, I fully expect you to keep that secret to the grave.”

“It’s not a secret if both Momo-unnie and Mina-unnie know about it.”

A moment passes. “Goddamnit.”

Tzuyu hums, wondering what the look on Nayeon’s face is right now. “Are you scared?” she asks softly.

“I’m not a scaredy-cat,” Nayeon grumbles.

“But why do you need to sleep next to someone?”

Silence. If Tzuyu didn’t know any better, she would say that Nayeon might’ve fallen asleep. But she _does_ know better and she knows Nayeon is thinking about what to say next.

“I get nightmares sometimes,” Nayeon answers after a moment, "so I always want somebody to be near me when I wake up." 

Tzuyu doesn't say anything for a while, trying to gather enough courage to do what she wants to do. Finally, after nearly five minutes has passed where she’s certain the older girl must’ve already fallen asleep, she slips out of her own bed and sits down on the edge of Nayeon’s. She hesitates, wondering if she’s crossing a line, but then Nayeon shifts to the side, making room for her, and Tzuyu covers the space with her own body.

“Thank you,” Nayeon whispers.

“Of course, unnie.” Tzuyu inhales shakily, turning her body so that she’s not facing away. She tries to sleep but her mind is going a hundred miles per hour. Nayeon is so close that she can _feel_ her—the way she takes her breath, the way she shifts her weight, the way her hands ghost right behind Tzuyu, as if she wants to reach out. It doesn’t take a while for Tzuyu to realize that she wants her to.

“Are you finally going to tell me what’s bothering you or do I have to wait it out?” Nayeon asks after several seconds has passed.

Tzuyu is firm. “Nothing is bothering me.”

“Please. I can hear you thinking.”

Tzuyu sighs and twists her body around so that they’re facing each other. It’s still dark but thanks to their close proximity and the moonlight slipping through the crack in the curtains, she can just make out Nayeon’s bright eyes and her bunny teeth peeking out from behind parted lips. She wonders what it would be like to kiss Im Nayeon and dispels that thought from her mind.

“Maybe I’m just glad that you’re here,” Tzuyu mumbles after Nayeon’s piercing stare doesn’t waver, “Thank you for agreeing to come with me.”

A lopsided grin crosses Nayeon’s features. “Thank you for inviting me.” A thoughtful expression comes to her face then. “Was I the first person you asked?”

Tzuyu purses her lips. “The only person, really,” she mutters under her breath.

Nayeon seems surprised. “Really?” she asks. “How come?”

“Well, you’re the only one I wanted to ask.” Tzuyu leaves out the fact that Nayeon is pretty much her only friend. She has other friends, of course. Her manager, for example. Even her bodyguards. Maybe she can also consider Dahyun and Chaeyoung from DUBCHAENG as her friends, since they did spend time together training for ISAC 2019. But if she is being perfectly and reasonably honest, Im Nayeon is the only friend who matters.

Nayeon is staring at her. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Tzuyu exhales a deep breath. “I’m sorry about that.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about.” Nayeon reaches out and flicks Tzuyu’s forehead with her finger, earning a scowl from the younger girl. “I don’t mind, you know. If I went on vacation with my family, I’d bring you along too.”

Perhaps it’s the certainty in Nayeon’s words or the fondness in her gaze but Tzuyu thinks back to the first time they met— _hey, aren’t you Chou Tzuyu?_ She thinks of Nayeon and Mina in that small coffee shop where nobody knew who they are. It would’ve been easy for Nayeon to keep quiet—to see Chou Tzuyu walking in and to look away. But she hadn’t. Instead, she opened up a space in her table, introduced her to Myoui Mina and soon, to the rest of her members. She didn’t have to. Just like she didn’t have to ask for Tzuyu’s number or tell her things about herself or even become her friend. But she did. She was always the one making the first move, taking control of the conversation, being one of the most important people in Tzuyu’s life.

This time, Tzuyu wants to make the first move.

So she leans forward and kisses Nayeon—right on her bunny smile.

The greatest honor in her life is bestowed upon her right there and then because surprisingly—Tzuyu’s heart leaps to her throat at what happens next—Nayeon kisses her back.

-

Nothing else really changes on their trip in Amsterdam. They are still idols on vacation. They are still Im Nayeon of 6MIX and Chou Tzuyu of JYPE. They are still good friends—mostly on screen. Behind closed doors, however, there is a shift. It’s barely noticeable. But when they board the plane three days after that incident back at the hotel, Nayeon takes Tzuyu’s hand in her own and leans her head on the taller girl’s shoulder. It would’ve seemed entirely platonic, if it wasn’t for Nayeon pressing the softest of kisses against the back of her hand.

-

A few days later, Tzuyu uploads a picture of the beautiful landscape of Amsterdam on Instagram.

**choutzuyu:** new beginnings 💜

[November 30, 2020]

Nayeon likes it a few seconds after.

-

Dating Nayeon brings about some subtle changes in Tzuyu’s life. Now there is somebody in who wants to know _everything_ about her—all her hopes and her fears ( _I hope to have a lasting career; not much really scares me_ ), how many kids she wants ( _two—a boy and a girl)_ , all the embarrassing middle school stories she’d rather keep to herself ( _you haven’t unlocked my tragic back story yet, unnie_ ), the movies that have made her cry ( _anything involving a dog_ ) and everything else in between. It’s kind of daunting at first, even with somebody as important as Nayeon. Tzuyu is afraid of scaring her off. “There’s nothing to worry about,” Nayeon would say sweetly, “I’m not going anywhere.”

In return, Tzuyu learns about Im Nayeon the way nobody else has. Well, maybe except her members. She knows that Nayeon hopes to live a comfortable life after she retires from 6MIX. She knows that Nayeon is afraid of a number of things like heights, bugs, large animals, the dark, loud noises, pretty much _everything_ that would barely make Tzuyu flinch. She knows Nayeon wants a big, happy family because she’s so used to living with so many members that a quiet house unnerves her. She knows Nayeon once slipped on a flat pavement right in front of her crush back in middle school and had to hide each time they crossed paths. She knows Nayeon cries at romantic movies and screams her head off at horror ones. Tzuyu knows Nayeon like the back of her hand now, almost to the point she wonders if she knows Im Nayeon better than she knows herself.

It is everything Tzuyu has wanted and feared for. Because Nayeon is _perfect_ —possibly the most perfect girl in the world. And Tzuyu isn’t perfect. Tzuyu stumbles during dance practices. Tzuyu gets tired after a comeback. Tzuyu’s voice cracks when she’s nervous. Tzuyu can’t even handle harsh criticism from any of her trainers. She can’t imagine protecting Nayeon the way the older girl already has for her, even though she would fight anybody who would dare harm her in the first place. Not to mention, the career they’ve chosen is a dangerous one. There was no discussion needed when they kissed that night because they already knew what they were getting into. They need to be careful. Otherwise, everything will fall apart.

But Tzuyu is also selfish. She wants Nayeon the way everybody else in the world wants her. And if being her secret is the only way to be with her, then so be it. Tzuyu might be an idol—the public’s property—but behind closed doors and encrypted text messages, she is Nayeon’s. And Nayeon is hers.

-

**RUNNING MAN**

**CHOU TZUYU**

**200428**

“Chou Tzuyu!”

Filming has already ended but Tzuyu lingers when her name is called. She turns and finds one of the producers—a tall, handsome man with swept back hair and a charming smile—approach her enthusiastically. Jackson stops as well, eyeing the man carefully. He looks to be seconds away from calling her bodyguard.

“Yes?” Tzuyu asks, trying to remember his name.

“Lee Jinsung,” he says with a bow, “I’m a producer.”

“Yeah, I saw.” Tzuyu glances at her manager, who keeps quiet. “Can I help you with anything?”

Jinsung shrugs, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Well,” he begins, “I was watching you earlier. You were terrific. You seemed to bond really well with the other guests.”

The other guests were MAMAMOO and a few other solo artists like Zico and Kang Daniel. Tzuyu smiles at the producer, her heart swelling in her chest. Compliments regarding her variety show appearance are hard to come by. After all, she is still shy and quiet, especially in a large crowd. Lee Jinsung continues to make small talk, which Tzuyu politely responds with a few textbook answers. Finally, once the conversation starts dying down, Jinsung pulls out a card from his pocket, which he seemed to have been holding onto for a while now. “I know I’m not supposed to say this,” he says, grinning at her, “but if you want to know more about showbiz, I’d be happy to tell you all about it. Here’s my number. Call me, eh?”

Tzuyu’s eyes widen but she doesn’t move to take the card. Thankfully, Jackson clears his throat and takes it for her. “Thank you,” he says, though he doesn’t seem so grateful, “we’ll be in touch.”

Just as Tzuyu turns to follow her manager back to their van, she spots Lee Jinsung’s lips twist into a scowl. It’s not a pretty look. She tears her gaze away and hurries after Jackson. Once inside the safety of the vehicle, she watches him rip the card in half.

“You don’t want to get mixed up in that,” he explains, “Everybody knows your dating ban is nearly over so you should watch out for vultures who want to get a bit _too_ close to you.”

“Oh.” Tzuyu feels like she can’t breathe. “Thank you, manager-nim.”

He waves her off. “Part of the job description,” he answers.

The rest of the ride is spent in silence. Tzuyu opens her phone to find a message from Nayeon. Her stomach churns. She puts it away and doesn’t answer.

-

“Something’s on your mind,” Nayeon comments the second Tzuyu takes a seat across her in the coffee shop they frequent.

Tzuyu looks up and stares at her girlfriend. Only Nayeon’s eyes are visible underneath the low cap and the face mask. But it’s enough to see the worry behind her gaze.

“It’s nothing,” she mutters, waving her off, “Just some stuff about work. You know how it is.”

Nayeon doesn’t look like she believes her but doesn’t push it. After all, she _does_ know how it is. Their orders haven’t arrived yet. Tzuyu fiddles with her phone and stares out the window. She knows she’s on a date right now but the incident regarding Lee Jinsung hasn’t left her mind. It worries her to no end. She cannot imagine the backlash if her relationship with Nayeon is revealed to the world. After all, not only is she dating one of the most popular idols in the industry but she’s also dating a _woman_ while still under her dating ban.

She doesn’t regret kissing Nayeon that night but maybe, they should’ve thought things through.

“Excuse me?”

Tzuyu blinks. She’s been so absorbed in her own thoughts she didn’t realize that Nayeon had stood up and walked over to the counter. “Can I have our orders to go please?” Nayeon asks the barista, altering her voice enough to make her seem bright, chirpy and younger. Her request is granted.

“What’s going on?” Tzuyu asks when Nayeon comes back.

“You look like you have a lot on your mind,” her girlfriend says, “Maybe we shouldn’t stay cooped in. The weather is lovely outside. Might take your mind off things.”

Tzuyu’s throat tightens. She really doesn’t deserve Nayeon. They’ve been dating for a few months now and it’s been the best few months that she’s ever experienced. So, after they take their orders, they stroll outside hand-in-hand. Their faces are hidden but it’s dark out anyway. Everybody has gone home. Tzuyu lets herself relax for a tiny bit. Yes, this is okay. Nobody is around. Her manager is asleep. Nayeon has slipped out of 6MIX’s apartment to spend time with her under the guise of visiting an old friend. Her members will text her if there’s anything wrong. Besides, they’re just a couple of girls enjoying a nightly stroll. Things are good. There is nothing to worry about.

Nayeon’s fingers are laced with hers. “The moon looks beautiful tonight,” she murmurs, tilting her head to the skies.

Tzuyu looks at Nayeon and only Nayeon. “Yeah,” she agrees, “it is.”

The older girl glances at her from the corner of her eye. “Tzuyu-yah,” she whines, “you’re such a dork.”

The two of them pass the park, where Nayeon pulls her in so that they can sit on a bench and admire the silence of the night. They take off their masks to breathe in the scent of wet grass in the air. Tzuyu can see a few people milling about but they seem lost in their own world as well. She loves nights like this—when the world is so quiet it almost feels like she and Nayeon are the only ones here. No company, no press, no fans. Just her and Nayeon.

“Why am I dork?” Tzuyu asks.

“Because you didn’t get what I mean.” Nayeon pouts, looking put off. If it wasn’t for the twinkle in her eyes, Tzuyu would be worried.

“What did you mean?” Tzuyu questions, her eyebrows furrowing together.

“That was a confession.” Nayeon’s eyes soften but her grip on Tzuyu’s hand tightens. “In Japan, they don’t flat out say ‘I love you’ to each other. Instead, they say ‘the moon looks beautiful tonight.’ Because it’s the closest translation they have.”

Tzuyu’s ears are ringing. “Oh,” she breathes out, eyes wide. Her love, adoration and fondness for Nayeon rises in her throat, taking form as words that she can’t possibly articulate to express how she truly feels. Because loving Nayeon is like watching fireworks in the night sky. You know that something beautiful is going to happen and you wait for it because you know that it’s worth it.

“Sorry,” she later adds, “I’m not Japanese, so yeah.”

Nayeon is watching her carefully. “Tzuyu-yah,” she says and for the first time in the entire time they’ve known each other, she sounds nervous, “I love you.”

Tzuyu melts. “Nayeon,” she murmurs.

Nayeon’s smile widens. “You don’t have to say it back,” she assures her, “I just felt that you should know.” When Tzuyu is still stunned speechless by the confession, Nayeon’s hand grows clammy in hers. “And like, I hope you don’t go and ask yourself why I love you because I can come up with a hundred million reasons why. You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re hardworking, you’re kind and you’re so _beaut—”_

Nayeon doesn’t get to finish the rest of her sentence since Tzuyu has surged forward and kissed her girlfriend, overwhelmed by her _love_ which seems so vast and encompassing that it should scare her but it doesn’t. It doesn’t because it’s Nayeon and Nayeon is the best person she knows. She’s so caught up in the moment she doesn’t realize that Nayeon’s beanie has slipped off and her short hair is visible for the world to see.

There’s the telltale click of a camera but Nayeon and Tzuyu don’t hear it.

-

It happens on a mundane Monday morning.

Tzuyu’s hands shake when she opens the link sent by her manager and sees the number one spot on Naver’s trending list: 

**“BREAKING: 6MIX’S IM NAYEON AND JYPE’S CHOU TZUYU -- REPORTEDLY DATING”**

Attached is the picture of them at the park, kissing under the moonlight, Tzuyu’s fingers buried deep in Nayeon’s short hair. There is no doubting it. It is clearly them.

All hell breaks loose.

-

It wasn’t Dispatch who posted the picture online. If it was Dispatch, it would’ve been easier for JYPE to pay them off. Besides, when it comes to same-sex relationships, Dispatch doesn’t release any proof or pictures. In Korea, the worst thing that an idol can do is be homosexual. It is practically a death sentence. It would’ve been a lot easier if it was Dispatch who caught them kissing. But that’s not what happened.

What happened was that somebody caught them kissing at the park, took a picture and waited several days before uploading it online via an anonymous Twitter account whose IP address couldn’t even be traced.

**12861895EXPOSENATZU2020:** @6MIX @JYPE be more careful… xoxo

Apparently, many of Nayeon and Tzuyu’s fans tried to get the account suspended but the damage had been done. The picture spread like wildfire. An hour later, several articles had already been written about them. Two hashtags emerged on Twitter, trending worldwide: **#WeLoveYouNayeon** and **#WeLoveYouTzuyu**. The Korean netizens were split—caught off guard by the fact two of their beloved idols were in fact, in a _relationship_ , and at a loss that they were two _women._

Tzuyu is woken up harshly by several texts and missed calls from Jackson. When she realizes what has happened, she locks the doors, shuts the windows, turns off the lights and mourns the inevitable collapse of her career. But above her grief for own demise, one question persists in her mind: _Is Nayeon okay_?

**[MAY 8, 2020]**

**CHOU TZUYU** **🐶** (8:32 AM)

Hey are you okay? Im sorry this happened. I should’ve been more careful im so sorry

There is no response. Tzuyu’s heart plummets. She makes the mistake of checking the news. What she sees is less than pleasant—downright demeaning and _horrible_. The comments are so harsh that she barely lasts five minutes online before her entire body is shaking violently. She tries to calm herself down, pressing the heels of her palms against her eyes and breathing in deeply. _This is not the end of the world_ , she tries to tell herself, even though it is.

Her phone vibrates. Tzuyu’s heart calms down. It is a reminder that she isn’t alone.

**NAYEONNIE** **🐰** (8:35 AM)

we’ll be okay stay strong i love you pls dont forget that <3

-

The company is debating on terminating her contract.

Jackson, who arrived a few hours after lunch, informs her of this. “I’m sorry,” he says, looking regretful, “but you broke the three-year dating ban.”

The iced vanilla latte that her manager bought for her sits between them on top of the table, like a witness to the fall of the idol’s career. Tzuyu’s eyes are wet with tears. Her lips are pursed to stop from trembling. Underneath the table, her hands are tightly clenched on her lap. Oh what she would give to have Nayeon reach over and hold them steady. But Nayeon isn’t here. Their companies have strictly told them to stay away from each other for the time being while they sort out the problem and later on, the solution.

“Why are they debating on it?” she asks after a moment.

“What?”

“They should’ve terminated it immediately.” Tzuyu lets out a deep breath. “Why are they still debating on it?”

Jackson sighs. “It’s because you’re one of our best artists, Tzuyu-yah,” he says, “Terminating your contract would be losing a major asset in the company. But don’t tell them I said that, okay?”

“Okay.” Tzuyu looks at her phone but there is no message from Nayeon. She can imagine that her career is up in the air as well.

Jackson suddenly reaches out and lays a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Hey,” he says quietly. When she looks at him, there is pity in his eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

There is such certainty in his voice that she can’t help but crack under his gaze. “Oppa,” she mumbles, forsaking the professional relationship between them, “I’m so scared.” The confession is spoken in a harsh whisper. He nods understandingly.

“I’m not going to say that I didn’t suspect anything,” he admits, “I always thought you two had a close-knit relationship. I just didn’t imagine that you girls were…” He trails off. “Nonetheless, I don’t think it’s anybody’s business about who you love. I think you’re very brave.”

Tears slip from her eyes and she hastily wipes them away. “I wasn’t trying to be,” she confesses, “I just wanted to be with her. That’s all.”

“I know.” He lets go of her shoulder. “We’ll see where it goes from here.”

-

A day passes.

Jackson returns again. “6MIX’s company wants to deny the rumors,” he tells her, handing her another ice cold vanilla latte, “JYPE is considering it as well.”

Tzuyu freezes. “What does that mean for me?”

“Well...” He leans against the door to her small apartment, eyes downcast. “It wasn’t explicitly stated but by denying the rumors, it means that you need to cut off your relationship with her.”

Tzuyu feel as if she’s been doused in cold water. Judging from her manager’s expression, it’s clear that he doesn’t like where this is going either. “How can they just deny it?” she asks, crossing her arms, “The picture clearly showed our faces. They’re just going to make this worse.”

“Both companies are already hunting down that account,” her manager says, “They can easily say that it was edited. They can pay off that person to even sign a confession that it _is_ edited.”

“Nobody will believe that crap.”

Jackson sighs. “It is what it is, Tzuyu-yah.” He is quiet for a few seconds, lost in thought. Then his eyes clear, set in determination. “Once the company denies the rumors, each time you appear onscreen, everybody involved in the show will need to sign an NDA where Im Nayeon, 6MIX or anything related to her won’t be mentioned. You won’t be allowed to interact with her. You won’t be allowed to talk about her. You won’t even be allowed to be seen in public with her. I’m even guessing that they’ll triple the amount of bodyguards around you to make sure that you’re following the company rules.”

Tzuyu’s eyes widen. This seems like an awful lot of trouble just to cover up their relationship, even though it has already been exposed to the world. Her stomach churns sickeningly. She wants to throw up.

“I can’t do that,” she mumbles, “I don’t want to do that.”

“I know.” Jackson’s eyes are filled with sorrow and pity for her. “Just… think about it, okay? And I need you to understand that not everybody is against you. Only you should have control over your own career.”

-

Tzuyu’s parents won’t speak to her. 

Tzuyu sends them multiple messages explaining the situation, trying to get them to understand how she feels, reminding them that at the end of the day, she is still their daughter. But the only indication that they’ve even opened her messages is the tiny checkmark under the last text Tzuyu sent them, which means they’ve read everything she had to say and chose not to respond. It’s like a stab to the gut. Tzuyu doesn’t know what to do.

Nayeon isn’t fairing much better in her situation.

“They won’t speak to me too,” Nayeon tells her during a phone call late at night, “and my members…”

“Are they mad?” Tzuyu asks quietly.

“Confused.” Nayeon’s voice sounds so pained that it physically starts an ache in Tzuyu’s chest. “It was Momo who saw the news first. She asked me why I didn’t tell her. I didn’t have a good answer. Jeongyeon and Jihyo, on the other hand…”

“What?” Tzuyu urges.

“They’re hurt.” Nayeon lets out a deep breath. “I understand why. I would be upset if they didn’t tell me something as important as this. We’ve known each other since we were _kids_. Mina and Sana are confused as well. They don’t know what to think. It’s like there’s a wall between me and the others…”

It pains Tzuyu to think that even though Nayeon has her own group, she feels as alone as she is. “I’m really sorry about that, unnie,” she murmurs.

“Don’t be. They’ll come around. It will take some time.” But there is no mistaking the deep ache that Nayeon’s voice echoes—the same ache that Tzuyu has in her own chest. They’ve always feared that something like this would happen and now that it has, it feels like things are just bound to get worse.

Tzuyu thinks about what her manager told her. “Do you want to stop this?” she asks in a quiet voice.

There is a beat. “What?” Nayeon asks, incredulous.

“Do you want to stop?” Tzuyu repeats in a firmer voice, “We can let the company deny it. Our careers might still be salvageable.”

“Tzuyu, what on earth are you saying?”

“Think about it, unnie.”

“I don’t even _want_ to think about it.” Nayeon’s voice has suddenly gone cold, which sends a chill down Tzuyu’s spine. “What you’re saying is that you want to break up.”

“I don’t _want_ to break up,” Tzuyu insists, “but if that’s the only way we can keep our careers and repair our relationships with other people—”

“So, you’re just going to give up?” Nayeon sounds harsh, cold and downright furious. “Even if we let them deny it, hiding our relationship isn’t going to magically fix things, Tzuyu-yah. It has a ripple effect. There are some people who will never accept us for who we are.” A sigh. Nayeon’s voice softens considerably the next time she speaks, “And it sounds like you haven’t accepted yourself too.”

Tzuyu stiffens. “What are you talking about?”

“Just—” On the other end of the call, Nayeon groans. “If you’re worried about my career, don’t be. I’m not going to hide who I am just because of what people think about me. Denying the rumors is out of the question.”

“But what about 6MIX…?” Tzuyu asks in a quiet, fearful voice.

Nayeon doesn’t miss a beat. “I’m willing to sacrifice my career to make a statement.”

“This isn’t just about your career,” Tzuyu points out, voice getting louder even to her own ears—she’s never heard herself sound so upset and agonized; “It’s about your members, your image, your family— _everything_ important in your life! This could ruin you, unnie. You’re one of the best people I know and I don’t want you to suffer the consequences of _my_ actions.”

“You’re not the only one who has a say in this relationship, Tzuyu-yah.” The two-year age gap between them has never been a problem before but now Tzuyu feels like a child who has been chastised.

“But I’m the one who started it,” Tzuyu mutters, clutching her phone so tightly in her hand she fears it will snap in half.

“Maybe, maybe not,” Nayeon replies steadily, “but you’re not the one who’s going to end it.”

-

**[MAY 24, 2020]**

**Son Chaeyoung** (3:09 PM)

Hey

 **that really tall chick from ISAC** (3:11 PM)

Hello?

 **Son Chaeyoung** (3:15 PM)

I heard about what happened and im really sorry things are tough on u right now

 **Son Chaeyoung** (3:15 PM)

I know that we’re not that close but if u want

 **Son Chaeyoung** (3:16 PM)

Do u wanna have coffee with me and dahyun?

 **that really tall chick from ISAC** (3:19 PM)

Im sorry I think you might have the wrong number

 **Son Chaeyoung** (3:20 PM)

Shit really?

 **that really tall chick from ISAC** (3:21 PM)

Lmao im just messing with you ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

 **that really tall chick from ISAC** (3:21 PM)

And yes I’d love to have coffee with you guys

 **that really tall chick from ISAC** (3:23 PM)

I could really use a friend right now

-

Son Chaeyoung is warmer now than the first time they met and Kim Dahyun is well… the same. When Tzuyu arrives in the secluded corner at Starbucks, she is greeted with a wave from Chaeyoung and a polite bow from Dahyun. The idol duo is dressed comfortably but their faces are hidden with their own respective hats and masks. Tzuyu takes a seat opposite them and even though they’ve been granted their own little corner to meet up in, she doesn’t remove her mask.

“How are you, Tzuyu-ssi?” Dahyun is the first to ask, taking a sip of her chocolate drink.

“I’ve been better,” Tzuyu answers in a clipped tone.

“No kidding, Sherlock.” Chaeyoung snorts but quiets when Dahyun shoots her a look. “Sorry.”

Tzuyu sighs and looks down at the drink that they ordered for her. It’s Iced Caramel Macchiato and while it’s not her go-to drink, she is still appreciative of the gesture. She takes a tentative sip and clears her throat.

“My company is thinking of terminating my contract,” she shares.

There is a beat.

“ _Bullshit_ ,” Chaeyoung spits out, aggravated, “For what? Just because you’re gay?”

Tzuyu has never labeled what she felt for Nayeon in such a way but she can’t help but flinch. Dahyun, noticing this, reaches out and gently lays a hand on top of her own. Chaeyoung is watching the interaction with hawk eyes, her mouth permanently twisted into a frown.

“And because I’m still under the dating ban,” Tzuyu continues, not denying Chaeyoung’s words.

“The dating ban is stupid,” the shorter girl says with an annoyed sigh, “It’s just a way for JYPE to control you. Just because you work under them doesn’t mean that you have to submit to everything they have to say.”

“It’s still reasonable grounds for termination,” Dahyun quietly says, “Tzuyu knew what she was getting into when she signed under them, remember?”

Chaeyoung clicks her tongue. “I guess.”

Tzuyu rubs her eyes. “I honestly don’t know what to do.”

“What did your manager say?”

“Basically, he told me that JYPE can either terminate my contract or deny the rumors, which means I would have to break up with Nayeon.”

Chaeyoung sucks in a breath while Dahyun bites back a gasp. Tzuyu nods at their reactions. She feels torn, like there’s a giant chasm right in the middle of her heart. She wants to protect Nayeon’s career because she loves her and it would hurt her to see her suffering. But at the same time, she doesn’t want to break up. She doesn’t want to lose the one person who has _always_ been there for her. The tears that spring to her eyes are unwelcome but not a surprise. She hastily wipes them away.

“Sorry,” she mutters, “It’s just been so hard lately.”

“We figured.” Dahyun leans back in her seat and stares at the taller girl. “That’s why we reached out to you.”

“If there is anybody who knows what you’re going through, we’re your best bet.” Chaeyoung’s mouth curls into a wry smile. “You’re not the first idol who’s been outed and you definitely won’t be the last.”

Tzuyu stares at them for a couple of seconds before she moves her gaze to the deliberate way Dahyun places her hand on top of Chaeyoung’s. Then it clicks. “Oh,” she says in a bated breath, “you guys are together.”

Dahyun nods. “Since we were kids, yeah.”

“Our company wasn’t happy about it first,” Chaeyoung informs her, “but they slowly got used to it. We were outed when one of the trainees back at the company saw us… doing something.”

“No details,” Tzuyu deadpans but in a way, she feels both relieved and happy for them. There hadn’t been a second where she wondered if the idol duo was as bigoted and rude like other people in the comment section to her last Instagram post were but it was still nice to know that they _truly_ understood what she was going through.

“I’m not going to lie to you, Tzuyu-ssi,” Dahyun begins, frowning, “but things are going to get worse before they get any harder. You’re definitely going to make some hard decisions in the near future. I just hope you know which choice to make.”

-

Jackson arrives at her place with bad news. “They’re going to deny it,” he says. It’s been a week since the news had broken the internet. The very fact that JYPE waited this long to address the rumors already paints them in a bad picture. Perhaps it’s because it involves Im Nayeon and 6MIX. Maybe it’s because they’re both girls. Tzuyu’s head hurts the more she thinks about it.

“I figured,” she mumbles with a sigh.

Her manager sits down on the couch opposite hers. “What do you want to do?” he asks.

“There’s nothing I can do,” she mutters bitterly, “It’s what the company wants anyway.”

“That’s not what I asked.” He fixes her with a cool stare. “I’m asking—what do _you_ want to do?”

Tzuyu looks down at her hands, which are shaking. She clenches them together and takes a steadying breath. When she meets Jackson’s gaze once again, she knows exactly what to say: “I don’t know what I want to do,” she admits, “but I do know that I don’t want to lose the woman I love.”

He nods. “Good.” Then he takes out his phone from his pocket and hands it to her. “There’s something you should see then.”

Once the phone is in her hand, Tzuyu realizes what it is that he wants her to see. The screen shows a Twitter page and in the search bar, the hashtag catches her eye: **#ThankYouTzuyu**. It is an endless list of people from all walks of life telling their own coming out experiences, all inspired in her name. Many of them are grateful that somebody as important, as famous, as _beautiful_ as Chou Tzuyu can be like them too. Even though the relationship hasn’t been confirmed by either company, it doesn’t seem to matter. Because apparently, the picture of Nayeon and Tzuyu kissing under the moonlight has given people the encouragement they need to make the first move and claim who they are. Most of the tweets are words of love, gratitude and compassion. It is one of the nicest things Tzuyu has ever seen and to see it directed at her, especially in a time where she needed it the most, is a reminder that there is still good left in this world.

Tzuyu remembers what Jackson told her before: _you didn’t do anything wrong_.

Now she believes it.

-

The next day, Tzuyu terminates her contract. This, she decides, is her own way of making the first move. She stares down at the CEO’s face, who is absolutely shocked at her decision, and resists the urge to say _your move_. Once everything has been needed to be said, she stands up and leaves the room. Jackson follows—not to stop her but to join her on the way out.

“Are you sure about this?” he asks quietly.

“It’s already been done,” Tzuyu answers.

He opens the company doors for her and when she emerges outside, the cameras are there to snap photos. Soon, they will know. She can already imagine the headlines, the outrage, the backlash. There is no textbook response for this situation, mostly because this type of thing has never happened yet. The spotlight is on her and its weight on her back is heavy. But for the first time in a long time, Tzuyu doesn’t care.

-

A week later, Jackson is right there next to her when she reads the headlines:

**“BREAKING: CHOU TZUYU HAS LEFT JYP ENTERTAINMENT AND SIGNED UNDER SMC ENTERTAINMENT --**

**Joins Idol Duo DUBCHAENG, Kang Daniel, WEEEKLY and more.”**

The next day, after news of Tzuyu leaving JYPE is released, a statement by 6MIX is made as well:

**“BREAKING: 6MIX NAYEON CONFIRMS RELATIONSHIP WITH SMCE’S CHOU TZUYU”**

**-**

Nayeon doesn’t leave 6MIX, which is a huge relief.

The next time they see each other is five months after the picture was uploaded. Both of them decided that it was best that the public didn’t see them together for some time, especially since it might cause an even bigger backlash. While their careers haven’t been terminated for good, there is still a long way to go before things will be okay again. Most of the music shows have blacklisted them for the time being but both companies have assured them that negotiations will be made. They can’t keep South Korea’s top idol group and solo artist out of the spotlight forever, they had said.

While the backlash has been extreme, the support has also been overwhelming. Many international charities and groups have reached out to them and slowly, they’ve become an inspiration to many LGBTQ youths. It isn’t what Tzuyu expected when she remembers the first time she met Im Nayeon. She expected nothing more than a picture from her but this, she decides, is still a reasonably good outcome. Even her parents are slowly speaking to her again—at first confused and hurt about seeing their daughter slandered all over the news but still supportive later on. It’s all that Tzuyu wants.

For Nayeon, things are going well for her as well. Her father hasn’t spoken to her ever since the news broke out but her mother has been nothing but supportive. Her members didn’t take long before they were apologizing to Nayeon and giving her hugs and being the best people she could ask for in a situation like this. “ _Jeongyeon punched me in the arm,_ ” Nayeon told Tzuyu a month into their self-isolation, “ _She told me not to keep something as important as this from her_. _Also, they all want to hang out with you soon. When do you think we’ll be able to do that?_ ”

Tzuyu remembers her response, “ _Maybe we should see each other first_.”

“How are you feeling?” Jackson asks when the car pulls up outside the coffee shop Tzuyu and Nayeon last spent their date at.

Tzuyu swallows the lump in her throat. “Nervous,” she admits.

“Don’t be.” Her manager—wait, no longer a manager but a _friend_ —smiles warmly at her. “You guys have been waiting for a long time, remember?”

Five months isn’t exactly a long time. Tzuyu knows that she and Nayeon have spent more time apart than together, thanks to their idol careers. But she understands what he means. There is a difference when you aren’t separated by schedules but of the public opinion. And even though many of the Korean netizens have slowly warmed up to them, Tzuyu still has her entire face covered with sunglasses and a mask. She isn’t taking any chances. This is also why Jackson is here, silently supporting her along the way. She couldn’t have asked for a better friend.

She checks her phone. There are several messages from Dahyun.

**[OCTOBER 16, 2020]**

**DUBU** (1:09 PM)

tell nayeon unnie that i said hi!!! <3

 **DUBU** (1:11 PM)

also chaeng asked me to remind u that u owe her an autograph from the one and only yoo jeongyeon ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

 **DUBU** (1:12 PM)

btw theres no need to worry. just because u and nayeon havent seen each other for like MONTHS doesnt mean that anything has changed ok

 **DUBU** (1:15 PM)

and if nayeon doesn’t greet u with anything less than a proposal then im personally coming over to whack her over the head – sent by chaengie with love <3

 **YODA** (1:21 PM)

Thank you dahyun unnie :D

 **YODA** (1:21 PM)

And pls tell chaeyoung there’s no need

 **YODA** (1:23 PM)

Things will be ok

“It’s almost 1:30,” Jackson points out, glancing at her, “You ready?”

Tzuyu takes a deep breath and pockets her phone. “Yes.”

When she exits the car, followed closely behind by Jackson, she sees that _Jamgoddae_ has done some minor renovations. It’s enough to make her realize just how much and how little everything has changed within the past several months. She feels slightly out of place when she spots a picture frame showing a landscape that looks suspiciously like Amsterdam hanging from one of the walls before she turns her attention to her surroundings. Inside the café are a bunch of students, talking to their friends, working on their homework or even peacefully reading a book in their little corners.

Tzuyu sweeps her gaze around while Jackson orders for them. There, right by the window, sitting all by herself with a cup of hazelnut latte in front of her, is Im Nayeon. She is dressed comfortably in a peach coat and dark blue jeans, which Tzuyu knows is a way to blend in the crowd. Her hair is tucked under a chestnut-colored beanie and the lower half of her face is covered with a black mask. Both her arms and legs are crossed with her phone hidden out of sight. She seems to be deep in thought.

Tzuyu approaches cautiously. All the love she feels for Nayeon—the same love that has kept her sane for the past several months—rises in her throat and gets stuck there. But she understands that they have all the time in the world now. There is nothing holding them back anymore. They’ve taken the leap with each other and Tzuyu will be damned if she lets both their efforts go to waste. Once she’s near enough, she clears her throat and tries to calm her rapidly beating heart.

“Hi,” she greets, feeling her lips stretch into a wide smile, which is hidden by her mask.

Nayeon looks up slowly. Their eyes meet. Tzuyu knows, without having to see, that underneath the mask, Nayeon is wearing her bunny smile.

-

**end**

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to support me:
> 
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> ko-fi: @forbiddenquill
> 
> But comments are well-appreciated :D
> 
> I'm not taking any commissions at the moment but I am transitioning to a new job so it would be very helpful if you could support me in any way :D


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